This talk is for those that are close to Deen and observe Deen. It is not for those that are far away from Deen. This talk is not for those that are having wedding functions that are far from Sunnat rather we are addressing those whose weddings are on the level of Sunnat. In this there are some guidelines and a revision of what we have already learnt.
We know the type of weddings we are having with so much of extravagance. Money is literally been burnt up in these gatherings. We are not discussing those people but we are discussing those that are in Deeni circles and require reformation.
It is mentioned in the Hadith,
اعلنوا هذا النكاح واجعلوه فى المساجد
Announce the Nikah and make it in the Masajid
From amongst us people, who is it that announces the Nikah. We give others invitation towards the Nikah. We were not commanded to invite to the Nikah rather we have been commanded to announce it. There are two basic ways of announcing the Nikah. The first is by writing the Nikah on the Masjid boards so people are informed of the Nikah.
Marhoom Maulana Muhammad Mia Saheb R.A, the father of Maulana Ebrahim Mia Saheb R.A of Mia’s farm got most of his children married in the Kerk Street Masjid after Jumuah Salaah. Maulana would stand up after Jumuah Salaah and request the people in the Gujrati language to sit down for a little while as his son or daughter will be getting married.
The main thing is to announce and not to invite. The greatest Buzurg is none other than Rasulullah Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam yet there were occasions where he too wasn’t invited for a Nikah. Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam had seen a yellow colour on the clothing of one Sahaabi. When asked, “what is this, he replied that he has just performed Nikah.” Nikah was previously something that would be carried out by the way but today we have made it a big issue.
Simplicity in Nikah
One Sahaabi takes a proposal on behalf of another Sahaabi but the girl’s party express their pleasure in getting their daughter married to him (who brought the proposal). The Sahaabi gets married immediately. There isn’t a big function.
Hadrat Sheikh R.A used to say that performing of two Rakaats Sunnah Salaah is a Sunnah and performance of Nikah is also a Sunnah. He further explains that the amount of preparation made for the two Rakaats Sunnah Salaah is the same amount of preparation that I would make for Nikah. The conditions for the validity of Salaah are simple such as the clothing being paak, the place being paak, the body being paak, facing the Qibla, etc. Having these things in place requires minimal effort thus Nikah also requires minimal effort.
Hadrat Hakim Saheb R.A. used to say that when a person intends performing two Rakaats of Sunnat salaah, neither does he print any cards nor does he put up a huge tent, and invites many people. Similarly, Nikah is also Sunnat and should be conducted in a similar manner.
We also shouldn’t wait for the Ijtima to take place so that we can have the Nikah performed, nor should we wait for some Hadrat or Buzurg to come to perform the Nikah. Who was a greater Buzurg than Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam in Madinah Sharif? This is an important aspect that requires some attention.
Is Nikah more important or is Walimah more important? It is Nikah that is more important. Walimah then follows in sequence as well as in priority. In regards to Nikah Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam is reported to have said in a Hadith, “Do not delay in three things. The performance of Salaah when the time of Salaah enters, the Janaazah Salaah when the Janazaah is ready, the Nikah of an unmarried woman when a suitable match is found.” This will then mean that a person shoudn’t even delay the Nikah until the day of Jumuah if a suitable match has been found. This doesn’t refer to the second marriage of an old man who has reached seventy, rather it refers to the first Nikah of a person.
We say, “This is my first daughter so I need to keep her happy. When the last daughter is getting married then we say the same thing. We should realise that Nikah is something that takes place by the way. When I returned from U.P. then my Nikah was performed in less than a month. My Marhoom father had passed away thus I had carried out everything myself. There wasn’t any delay.
Nikah of the daughters of Hadrat Sheikh R.A.
There was once an Ijtima in Saharanpur. At Jumuah time, Hadrat Madni R.A told Hadrat Sheikh R.A that these are two young boys namely Maulana Yusuf Saheb R.A. and Maulana Inaamul Hassan Saheb R.A. who are of marriageable age. You have two young daughters so why don’t you get the Nikah performed? Without much contemplation he agreed without consulting with the girls and the Nikah was then performed. The rule of Shariat is that the father can get his Baaligah daughter married but when she is made aware of the marriage she may object if she is unhappy or approve of the marriage. He then informed the wife of the marriage of his daughters who said, “You should have informed me so that I could have prepared some clothing for them.” Hadrat Sheikh replied, “I didn’t know that my daughters were naked up to this point.” On the occasion of Nikah in our families, we should adopt such simple ways. The Barakah of a simple Nikah could then be seen in the Khidmaat of Deen in the work of Tabligh carried out by these two great Ulema in the world. These wives were great support to their husbands. Once Maulana Manzoor Nu’maani Saheb R.A enquired via his house women from the family of Maulana Yusuf R.A. Hadrat Maulana is hardly at home is she happy with it or must he speak to Maulana Yusuf Saheb R.A? She sad, “I have absolutely no objection even if Maulana Yusuf Saheb R.A goes out more in the path of Allah.” This is the result of Barakah in Nikah.
When Nikah is supposed to be so simple and only an announcement is required when Nikah is most important then what about Walimah which is less important? It should be absolutely simple. On one Safr the Nikah of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam had taken place. He told the Sahaaba to bring along their own food which will be Walimah. On another occasion Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam had sent milk for his Walimah.
Eat with the Niyyat of Walimah
After my marriage I went for Haj and we were with Hadrat Mufti Mahmood Saheb R.A and a few students who were newly graduated. Marhoom Mufti Sulaiman Qaasim complained to Hadrat Mufti Saheb that Abdul Hamid got married but didn’t invite us to a Walimah. Hadrat said, “Eat this food with the Niyyat of Walimah.” There is no need to invite 200-300 people and hire a hall, etc. This custom of inviting many people, hiring a hall, etc. is in good pious people. The Walimah is a ittle feast which comprises of the poor and pious. If it means inviting ten people in your front room then it is sufficient as the Walimah.
When Maulana Muhammad Suliman was going to Baberton for his Nikah, his father passed away in a motor car accident. His mother was a very pious woman who I had come to know later on that was the only woman in South Africa that wore Purda. She had made her husband Hafez-ul-Quraan. On this occasion she said that Nikah will continue. How many cancel the Nikah due to a funeral. When we will realise that both are ibaadaat then we will continue with both.
Maulana Abdullah Dhabelia’s brother got married. The girl’s party said that the function will be held at the hall. Maulana’s mother refused to attend the hall.
Enquire as to what lifestyle the one intending marriage prefers
The girl should be asked, “What do you want in life?” Some want a modern boy. The boy should also be asked the same. A new trend that has now started is that after proposal the boys profile is checked in twitter and funny comments and pictures are found there. Outwardly, they are very pious but it is unbelievable what they are tweeting and saying. The boy wants a pious Alima but he has something else in mind. This shouldn’t be the case where we spoil the life of someone else. Similarly, the girl shouldn’t spoil the boy’s life. If the girl wants a modern boy then she should look for someone that suites her. Don’t marry on a pretext and the problems then crop up at a later stage. So, there should be some form of pondering when making a decision in regards to a suitable partner. Once a suitable partner is found, there shouldn’t be any delay in making the Nikah.
The father of Hadrat Mufti Mahmood Saheb R.A used to be invited to perform a Nikah. If he found anything un-Islamic he would request them to correct it. If corrected, then he would perform the Nikah else he would walk away. The result of this was that many incorrect practices were rectified. The Ulema should therefore keep away from halls and similar places.
Do not delay the Janaazah Salaah
Regarding the delay in the Janaazah Salaah, this is alive to some extent whereby the Salaah is not delayed. The person passes away after Esha and the burial is completed by 11:00pm. A very wealthy family in Durban, the father had made a bequest that his burial shouldn’t be delayed. He passed away at 09:00 pm and he was buried at 01:00 am. The people hadn’t seen such a huge Janaazah in Durban. We say that people are coming from various parts of the country thus we should delay a little so that they may all participate. This is not a necessity, else Shariat would have said that the people coming from far and wide should be considered. Many Ulema that are teaching in Madrasahs and Darul Ulooms want to be present for the Janaazah but their duty at the Madrasah is not been fulfilled by remaining absent. Attending the Janaazah is Fardh-e-Kifaaya and attending to one’s duty at the Madrasah is Fardh-e-Ain.
In the months of winter the Asr Salaah is during Madrasah hours. The Madrasah was located a few minutes away from the Masjid. My Ustaad Hafez Muhammad Salloo Saheb R.A. who was a Mureed of Hadrat Maulana Thanvi R.A used to say that Imaamat is also a responsibility and teaching is also a responsibility. He used to say that one should remain in the state of Wudhu, come exactly at the time of Salaah, and immediately thereafter return to teaching without even participating in the Dua after Salaah. It is not the duty of the Imaam to recite the Tasbeehaat and Dua after Salaah. This can be carried out individually by the Musallies. This is the fine understanding of things that is required.
Fardh-e-Ain is more important
The performance of Janaazah Salaah is indeed a great Ibaadah which carries great rewards, but we cannot give priority to Fardh-e-Kifaaya over Fardh-e-Ain. Some people travel hundreds of kilometres to attend a Janaazah yet the Fardh is neglected in the process. It is Waajib to perform Fardh Salaah with Jamaat. Hadrat Maulana Asadullah Saheb R.A. was so particular about his Jamaat Salaah that he would very seldom travel anywhere. Deoband is approximately half an hour away from Saharanpur. If he went to Deoband for some work he will enquire the times when the busses and trains will be departing. He will then choose a time of departure where he wouldn’t miss Salaah with Jamaat. On one side, we won’t miss a Janazaah Salaah whilst on the other hand we miss our Jamaat Salaah which is Waajib whilst others even make their Salaah Qadhaa.
Regarding Fardh Salaah, one should not run and come for Salaah. How many times don’t we hear that accidents occur when attending a Janaazah especially when people are rushing to get there. The time of Janaazah Salaah is fixed yet people are announcing that we are still awaiting the arrival of so and so. How people’s valuable time is now delayed. This is not the temperament of Shariat.
In a certain country there was a Janaazah. There was an announcement that a certain car travelling from South Africa had a tyre puncture. We waited for 45 min and a certain person became sarcastic which was not the correct thing to do at that time and said, “One announcement! We asked, “What is it?” He said, “A car has just left Johannesburg so we can wait for them as well.”
We should live with the Buzurgs and read their life stories so that we may get the understanding of Deen. When the father of Hadrat Sheikh R.A. had passed away the Janaazah Salaah was performed. In those days post cards were used to convey messages. He wrote to all his father’s acquaintances in India that he was aware that they will soon be coming for Ta’ziyat (to console the bereaved). He further wrote that he is perfectly consoled as he accepted this occasion of death as the decree of Allah Ta'ala.
Negligence in Isaale-Thawaab
What we are negligent of is Dua-e-Maghfirat and Isaale-Thawaab. He mentioned you people will come from Bombay to Saharanpur which is a two day journey and you will remain here for a period of two days and then another two days are required for returning. This is a minimum of six days travel. He said that the duration of six days is equivalent to 144 hours. This time can be utilised in reciting Quraan for the deceased even though it is spread out over a few years. This will be much more beneficial to the deceased. The travelling cost involved can be given in charity over a period of time on behalf of the deceased. When these acts have been completed send me a post card informing me that these acts have been carried out as people are lax in these matters. What we do is show our faces that we have also attended. We attended a Janaazah but do we even recite Surah Ikhlaas thrice? If a person doesn’t attend a Janaazah but recites Surah Ikhlaas thrice for the deceased then he has passed the reward of a entire Quraan Sharif. He can make Dua for the Marhoom but we are negligent in regard to these things. Our priorities aren’t in order.
I have written in my Wasiyyat Naama (bequest) that Ulema residing at a distance should not even attend the Janazaah. They shoud continue with their services to Deen whether Imaamat or teaching as these things are much more important. The reward should then be transferred to me. The one’s living close by should attend.
Rasulullah Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam not informed of a Janaazah
There were times when Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam wasn’t informed of the Janaazah. A woman who used to clean Masjid-un-Nabawi, passed away at night and was buried. In the morning Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam asked about her as he did not see her. He was informed that she passed away last night but no objection was raised. The Sahaaba didn’t want to cause any discomfort to Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
When we discard the important aspects of life then the unimportant things take precedence and become important. If a person’s father is coming by plane then who will fetch him? The brothers in business are working so they can’t free themselves yet Maulana is always free. He can easily take off as teaching is no real work. The principal also has to keep silent. This is deception in the Amaanat. Whether the salary is Jaiz or not is a separate issue.
Many women also attend the Mayyit house where the laws of Purdah are not adhered to. There we are using the electricity and food yet the estate hasn’t been sorted out. A pious person visited another Buzurg who was in the throes of death. There was a little lamp that was burning. The moment he passed away the lamp was switched off. He then brought a lamp from his own home. He said, “As long as he was living we were permitted to use his lamp but now it belongs to the heirs.” The permission of the junior heirs is not even valid. The permission of the senior heirs is a requirement. We use the water and electricity without permission. The food is generally brought by others, then it is okay. The women always complain that the men are in front and they know we have to pass. What do the women have to go there for? There is no need whatsoever.