Making salaam to a strange woman
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Condition
An ‘Alim who is seeking reformation wrote that a strange girl always makes salâm to him on the road. I also reply to this greeting but my heart is becoming inclined towards her. I turn my attention away from her, but she makes advancements towards me.
Answer
It is harâm for a strange woman to greet a strange man and vice versa. Therefore, if you display softness in this regard, you will be knowingly placing yourself into destruction. This is especially disgraceful for an ‘Alim and religious person. You should immediately scold her in a harsh tone that she should not greet you. She is influenced by Shaytan and he is making an effort to have you to accept that influence. You should therefore be cautious, and it is easy to fight this in the beginning. If excessive love overtakes you, it will be difficult to save yourself later on.
You should envision the Hell-fire and death. Negate everything by repeating 300 times لا اله الا الله. One needs to distance oneself from sin as far as the distance between the east and the west.
أَللَّهُمَّ بَاعِدْ بَيْنِيْ وَبَيْنَ خَطَايَايَ كَمَا بَاعَدتَّ بَيْنَ الْمَشْرِقِ وَالْمَغْرِبِ
“O Allâh! Place a distance between me and my sins as You have placed a distance between the east and the west.”
ارے یہ کیا ظلم کررہا ہے کہ مرنے والوں پہ مررہا ہے
جو دم حسینوں کا بھر رہا ہے بلند ذوقِ نظر نہیں ہے
“O what wrong you are committing that you are dying over those who are themselves going to die!
The one who is looking at beautiful women does not possess high aspirations.”
When a person becomes a little soft and lax, and himself becomes inclined or fills himself with one glance of remorse, he begins to harbour hopes. You should strictly lower your gaze and pass by [her]. In fact, you should change your route even if it is longer. Then you will experience ease in your heart, then you will acquire the light of dhikr and the light of knowledge.
She can never advance towards you provided you resort to determination and your will power, and scold her. Turn your attention to Allâh Ta'ala and say this poem:
بہت گو وَلولے دل کے ہمیں مجبور کرتے ہیں
تری خاطر یہ خونِ آرزو منظور کرتے ہیں
“Although (haraam) desires of the heart are imposing upon us with much fervour,
We will accept the blood of (these haraam) desires for Your sake.”