Etiquettes for wives_part 2

4.) You should abstain from all things and every form of behaviour that will find disfavour with the husband. Acquaint yourself with the moods and act accordingly, to cultivate his pleasure. Do not increase his worries. Strive to become a source of comfort and peace for him.

5.) Endeavour to eat and drink from the same utensil. Sometimes place a morsel of food in each other’s mouth (not only to be practised when newlywed), this will increase mutual love. One will be rewarded for this.

6.) Keep the home, children and (most important) yourself neat and tidy when he enters the home. This will enhance his confidence in you. A neglected home could affect his mood adversely. 

7.) Try to complete your household chores early and quickly so that you can spend quality time with your husband and children. 

8.) Do not disclose your husband’s secrets or faults to either family members or friends. Always conceal one another’s faults. Worst is to speak about one’s physical relationship. 

9.) Be prepared for him at mealtimes, as the heat of hunger is very often inflammable. Remember the adage, “A hungry man is an angry man.” 

10.) Do not mingle and speak to strange men. This will severely harm your marriage. Never allow any strange man to enter your house in the absence of your husband; no matter how well you or your husband knows him. 

11.) It is the wife’s obligatory duty to beautify and adorn herself only for her husband. It is forbidden for her to adorn herself for all and sundry when leaving the house. A hadith states, “A woman who applies perfume and passes by a gathering is like an adulteress.” 

12.) Rasulullaah SallAllahu alayhi wasallam said, “It is not permissible for any woman to keep an (optional) fast without her husband’s permission, and it is not permissible for her to allow anyone into his house without his consent.” 

13.) Never compare nor mention the handsomeness, character, wealth or generosity of other men to your husband. This is extremely insensitive and may cause jealousy, suspicion and unnecessary doubts in his mind. Accept your husband for what he is and do not cast lustful glances at other men. By doing so, shaytaan will beautify the form of these other men. By controlling one’s gazes, love for the husband will increase and she will attain the sweetness of imaan. 

14.) Do not keep in touch or communicate with any male acquaintances from the past, even if they are ‘just good friends. This is extremely detrimental to the marriage and forbidden. 

15.) Learn to communicate constructively. Make a resolution that at the time of a problem you would sit down and discuss in a dignified manner, without raising voices or being abusive; or you will seek advice from someone you both can confide in. 
(to be continued, etiquettes for husbands will be mentioned under the malfoozaat section, insha allah)