Etiquettes for wives_part 2
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4.) You should abstain from all things and every form of
behaviour that will find disfavour with the husband. Acquaint
yourself with the moods and act accordingly, to cultivate his
pleasure. Do not increase his worries. Strive to become a source
of comfort and peace for him.
5.) Endeavour to eat and drink from the same utensil. Sometimes
place a morsel of food in each other’s mouth (not only to be
practised when newlywed), this will increase mutual love. One
will be rewarded for this.
6.) Keep the home, children and (most important) yourself neat
and tidy when he enters the home. This will enhance his
confidence in you. A neglected home could affect his mood
adversely.
7.) Try to complete your household chores early and quickly so
that you can spend quality time with your husband and children.
8.) Do not disclose your husband’s secrets or faults to either
family members or friends. Always conceal one another’s faults.
Worst is to speak about one’s physical relationship.
9.) Be prepared for him at mealtimes, as the heat of hunger is
very often inflammable. Remember the adage, “A hungry man is
an angry man.”
10.) Do not mingle and speak to strange men. This will severely
harm your marriage. Never allow any strange man to enter your
house in the absence of your husband; no matter how well you
or your husband knows him.
11.) It is the wife’s obligatory duty to beautify and adorn herself
only for her husband. It is forbidden for her to adorn herself for
all and sundry when leaving the house. A hadith states, “A
woman who applies perfume and passes by a gathering is like an
adulteress.”
12.) Rasulullaah SallAllahu alayhi wasallam said, “It is not permissible for any
woman to keep an (optional) fast without her husband’s
permission, and it is not permissible for her to allow anyone into
his house without his consent.”
13.) Never compare nor mention the handsomeness, character,
wealth or generosity of other men to your husband. This is
extremely insensitive and may cause jealousy, suspicion and unnecessary doubts in his mind. Accept your husband for what
he is and do not cast lustful glances at other men. By doing so,
shaytaan will beautify the form of these other men. By
controlling one’s gazes, love for the husband will increase and
she will attain the sweetness of imaan.
14.) Do not keep in touch or communicate with any male
acquaintances from the past, even if they are ‘just good friends.
This is extremely detrimental to the marriage and forbidden.
15.) Learn to communicate constructively. Make a resolution
that at the time of a problem you would sit down and discuss in a
dignified manner, without raising voices or being abusive; or you
will seek advice from someone you both can confide in.
(to be continued, etiquettes for husbands will be mentioned under the malfoozaat section, insha allah)