Alhamdulillah with Allah Ta’ala’s Mercy spending time in the Khanqah has changed my life and I have been able to give up things I didn’t think was possible. I have learnt so much and one of the things is the importance of Purda and controlling the gaze. Alhamdulillah with Allah Ta’ala’s Fadhal I have noticed the difference . Last night however Hazrat said in Hazrat’s lecture that there are Shariah ways to implement Purda with the family etc.
I have been struggling with this for a while and it’s got to the point where I try to avoid going to families houses because I know there will not be Purda observed. Alhamdulillah I try to avoid because Hazrat said once that to stay in an Unislamic environment even making Taubah is Haraam. We should run away from such places. I have tried explaining this to my family nicely and I try to mix with my Uncle etc. without his wife or daughter present and I also don’t want to hurt or break family ties but there is no obedience of the creation while disobeying Allah Ta’ala. I am very uncomfortable when my Uncle's wives or girl cousins are in the same room as me. I know I am very weak and Hazrat always mentions there is Purda of the voice as well.
Please explain to me am I doing the right thing, last night Hazrat said there is a way to do it without breaking family ties and also we Alhamdulillah have been blessed to find Haq in the Khanqah and they unfortunately while better than us but do not realise just like how we did not realise at one time the value of Purda and the ill effects of free mixing!
It is a very delicate and fine thread issue. We must try our best, making dua, istikhaarah and as you are doing mashura and guidance from the Sheikh.
We have to maintain the laws of Allah Ta’ala, trying as far as possible, not to hurt anyone. We must try and take all with us to Allah Ta’ala! But the law of Allah Ta’ala will always be supreme