I am continuing to recite Surah An Nas before Namaaz. Though I have forgotten to do so on some occasions but I am still waiting to achieve the benefits thereof. Maybe my problem needs more intense treatment, I don't know. Kindly advice.
I have another problem to share with Hazrat (though not the last). Earlier I thought I should deal with each, one by one, but now I feel maybe this problem is contributing to the lack of success in the above matter. The fact is that I often conjure up situations in my mind where I see myself doing some good act. In the background I also place a third person, somebody very respected and noble, looking at my 'good' deed with praise and admiration written on his face! As soon as I become aware about it, I try to snap out of it but it keeps recurring specially during 'idle' periods.
Oh, how can the 'khashiyat' & 'maarifat' of Allah Jalla Jala Laho enter such a contaminated heart!
On the positive side, Alhumdulillah, I am regular with my morning zikr, my five times salaat, wearing sunnat dress during off hours & lowering the gaze. I am also glad to tell Hazrat that by the 'taufiq' of Allah Jalla Jala Laho I have resumed reading Surah Yasin in the mornings & Surahs Sajda, Waqia & Mulk every evening. But the best part is that from 16th May I have commenced making up for the qadah salaats! I was foolishly deferring it to a time when I would achieve perfect 'khushu' in my salaat!
Soliciting for Hazrat’s duas & advice.
This is an immediate solution, i.e. to recite Surah 'Annaas' before salaat. Carry on with it. The actual, long term, solution is 2 fold:
To gain the Ma'rifat (recognition) of Allaah Jalla Jala Laho. Then a person will know in front of Whom he is standing, this will result in the quality of namaaz being completely different!
To do a 40 day course, at least, in the zhikr of Allaah Jalla Jala Laho , correctly and punctually! The ideal situation for this is to spend 40 days in the company of your Sheikh.
Before your namaaz think this may well be the last namaaz of my life! When lifting your hands in Takbier e tharima, think I am throwing the world, my work, office, home, etc. behind me and am surrendering to Allaah Jalla Jala Laho.
Ma'shaAllaah! May Allaah Jalla Jala Laho keep us steadfast, increase us all in all good and fully accept from us all. Aamien. Mubaarak!