Nikah, A great Ibaadat

Nikah is an integral part of Deen. Nowadays, the universities promote and teach that one may do as he wishes thus implying that Nikah is not important. We shouldn't treat Nikah as a mere routine (i.e. a boy or girl that reaches marriageable age should get married), rather it should be treated as a command of Allah Ta'ala and the Sunnah of Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam and be done as an Ibaadat.

Similarly Salaah also should not be treated as a mere routine. Some of the Fuqaha are of the opinion that if a person performs Salaah but does not make the intention of fulfilling the command of Allah c then Salaah will not be discharged. When a person carries out the various forms of Ibaadah and makes the intention of fulfilling the command of Allah Ta'ala then this is true servitude.

If a person gets married with the intention that he is fulfilling the command of Allah Ta'ala then such a person will always fulfil the command of Allah Ta'ala throughout marriage. Such a person will not miss his Esha or Fajr Salaah on the first night of marriage. Such a Nikah will then give a person the enjoyment of Jannat in this very world. On the contrary, if we get married regarding it as a ritual then one will commence his marriage with honeymoon which is purely done for satisfaction and against the command of Allah Ta'ala.

A Nikah filled with blessings

Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam is reported to have said,

ان اعظم النكاح بركة ايسره مؤنة

Verily the Nikah that contains the most Barakah is that Nikah in which the least amount of expenses is incurred.

Due to the teachings mentioned in the above Hadith, simplicity should be adopted in our Nikahs.

The need and importance of pre-marital classes

There are certain restrictions and commands of Allah Ta'ala in Nikah that have to be adhered to, therefore one should acquaint himself with these laws and restrictions. A person studies the relevant manuals prior to learning how to drive a vehicle. A person intending to perform Haj attends Haj seminars or classes prior to undertaking the spiritual journey of Haj. Similarly one should do a course wherein one is educated regarding the rights of one's spouse, in-laws, knowing one's own rights, etc. Knowledge is the leader and Amal (action) is the follower. One cannot act upon the injunctions of Shariat without possessing the relevant knowledge. The Ulema of every town should offer marriage classes.

Rights of women

In the Quraan Sharif Allah Ta'ala states,

وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ

And they (women) have rights (that men owe to them) similar to those (that men have) over them (which should be fulfilled) in kindness. (However) men have a degree(of responsibility and guardianship) above them (above women).

Hadrat Shah Hakim Muhammad Akhtar Saheb R.A says, "Why has Allah Ta'ala mentioned the rights of women first?" The women are generally weaker than men and many of them have even lost their parents, therefore Allah Ta'ala fights on their behalf. He is the defendant in their case. So the men should fulfil their rights just as they (the wives) have to fulfil the rights of the men. However, men enjoy a degree of superiority.

The example of fulfilling rights from both sides is like the wheels of a car. If both the wheels of a car are placed on one side then such a car is unable to move. If the wheels are placed in their respective places then one will get the desired usage of the vehicle. Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam had taught Hadrat Ali and Fatima R.A their rights, that the external chores are the duty of Ali R.A and the internal work is the duty of Fatima R.A. In this age and era, the women are going to work thus this can be likened to placing both the wheels of the car on one side.  

Many people are of the opinion that if both spouses are working then more wealth will be earned whereas in reality the Barakah of one's wealth is lost when the women go out to work. When the women go out to work they have to dress in a certain way and to maintain such a code of dress is costly. The kids that are at home require their mother therefore she is replaced with a maid which is again a costly affair. Also, the maid can never nurture and bring up the children as the mother does, nor can she show affection to the children as the mother does. In short, the loss suffered by one is greater than the benefit.

Choosing a partner

When choosing a wife, the man should select such a woman that will be a wife to him and not a model nor a career woman, as such women are unable to serve their husbands. They leave a note on the fridge stating that the food has been placed in the refrigerator and should be warmed. If the women play their role correctly according to Shariah then the children will be coolness of their eyes. Today, 99% of the children are not coolness of their parent's eyes. The saying "coolness of the eyes" refers to extreme joy. This extreme joy is part of Jannat which is given to one in this world in advance.           

Treating the wife with kindness

In another verse Allah Ta'ala states,

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

Live with them in kindness (treating them well).

What is meant by "Ma'roof" (kindness)?

1.Treat them in a kind manner according to the manner Allah and His Rasul Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam has commanded.

2. Treat them according to the manner that is accepted in society.

3.The third explanation of living with the women with kindness is as follows,

فيه تعليم الاحسان الى النساء والرفق بهن والصبر على اعواجهن

In it is the teaching of kindness to women and being kind to them and being patient upon their difficultness.

Different forms of interaction

There are different ways of dealing with a person. The first is called "Adal" which is justice or equality. You treat a person according to the manner he treats you.

The second method is Ihsaan (i.e. even though one is bad to you, you treat him kindly). Allah Ta'ala states in the Quraan,

وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا السَّيِّئَةُ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ

Good and evil cannot be equal. Resist (the harassment and insults of your enemies) with that (form of resistance) which is best (by being kind and forgiving).

This is the method that was adopted by Imaam Abu Hanifa R.A. A person used to speak ill of Imaam Abu Hanifa R.A so he used to send sweetmeats to such a person.  This person had finally stopped speaking ill of Imaam Saheb. When he stopped Imaam Abu Hanifa R.A stopped supplying sweetmeats. He then asked Imaam Abu Hanifa R.A the reason. Imaam Saheb replied by saying that you were doing me a favour by speaking ill of me therefore I used to send sweetmeats to you. Now that you stopped speaking ill of me, I also stopped supplying the sweetmeats. So, repel evil by doing good.

A man should exercise patience when a woman is difficult as she has been created from his left upper rib which is most crooked. When he had supplied the raw material, which was defective the end product will also be defective.

May Allah Ta'ala grant us the Taufeeq of following the teachings of Shariah and the Sunnah of Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam in regards to Nikah, due to which the enjoyment of Jannat will be experienced in this world. Ameen!